This pregnancy, over half way done with, has just reach the point where I feel anything that could even remotely be described as "comfortable." I'm not saying this to complain. Sure, I do my fair share of whining, I know I do! But, I really do love being pregnant. What a gift we as women have been given. To be charged with the task of growing, nourishing, caring for, and birthing new life! Yes, God certainly shows us His love in being charged with something so amazing, rewarding, and awesome!
However, since March, I've been dealing with hyperemesis. Hyperemesis is nausea and vomiting that results in at least 5% weight loss in the woman affected. I lost between 5-10% of my pre-pregnancy weight and am just now at a +1 lb for this pregnancy. Twice I found myself in the ER for IV fluids, and if I weren't so stubborn, I should have gone in more than that! Most days, getting out of bed was a huge task, managing to care for and feed the kids made me feel like a superhero! I'd be embarrassed to admit how much convenience food and TV has played a part in our lives these past 4 months.
Along with that, my anxiety disorder has been exaggerated by the pregnancy. Thankfully, once I was out of the first trimester, my doctor and I were able to work together and find a drug that helped. Not as much as my non-pregnant anxiety medication, but it does work. And I switched nausea medications as well, since a side effect of the one I was on is increased anxiety levels. The combination worked! I still have days where I need my medication, but in general I'm just fine without anything but maybe a few deep breaths here and there.
This past month, the flood has made the humidity worse. And combined with the warmest (who are we kidding? It is just downright HOT!) summer in recent memory, my asthma just isn't handling it well. When I got to the point this week where I was calling the doctor considering a second ER visit within a week because my rescue medication wasn't working, I knew things had to change. I'm now on two daily preventative medications. Singulair and an inhaled corticosteroid, Flovent.
Needless to say, I've been largely out of commission. I have barely seen friends, I haven't even really seen family all that much! We haven't done most of the usual activities we do in the summer. Trips to the zoo, picnics at the park, going fishing, etc. This spring and summer has seen us mostly housebound. Which is not at all the normal way of things for the girls and I. We're very go-go-go kind of people!
Thankfully, at home, I have my awesome husband to help out. But, he's got his own chronic health issues which have been plaguing him for about 15 months now. He's in constant pain, and while he manages to do what needs done, like me he's been just handling the basics. There are only two days a week where he's working in the mornings. On those five other days, we switch off getting up with the kids and sleeping in. Well, he sleeps in. I generally am unable to fall asleep after the kids are up anyway, but getting to just lay in bed in the dark quiet is like a vacation sometimes!
The hardest part isn't the physical toll our health issues have taken on either of us. It's been the fact that we can't be the parents we normally are! We both hate feeling like we're sitting on the sidelines, watching the kids play and grow and not being able to actively participate like we are so used to. We watch them ride their bikes up and down the street instead of my husband riding bikes with them. Trips to the park involve driving there and sitting at the picnic tables versus walking there and playing with them.
It affects them, too. How can it not? It means extra nights with grandparents, when mom and dad are too sick to give them everything they need. And while their grandparents are happy to help and they love the kids and the kids love them, it isn't the same. Then we get the "grandparent detox" when they come home. Which means the first 24-36 hours at home are spent easing back into home rules, and there is a lot of frustration and misbehavior involved. It isn't anybody's fault (not entirely, at least), but just a fact.
The past week or two they've been spending more nights away than usual. A two day trip to the amusement park (which we couldn't have done. Humidity, walking all over, being in the pool all evening, it would've taken all we had out of both of us!), spending the night when my asthma sent me to the ER then again when it almost did, a lot of nights away from home. And it shows. The oldest has taken to yelling angrily at her younger sister, and growling in frustration at her. Lots of hurtful words coming from her mouth and hurtful attitude flowing from her heart. The middle one is bouncing off the walls (which is to be expected since she doesn't have a great outlet for expelling all the energy three year olds have!), and is generally defiant in nature. It isn't malicious, it's just the nature of being three and very spirited! She wants to do things in her own time and her own way and doesn't want anybody to tell her how it is. And all of that is at a level about 10 times higher than usual right now.
Thankfully, we have an amazing family doctor. My asthma stuff is quickly getting under control thanks to the new medications I'm on. I think my lungs forgot what it felt like to not be bogged down with inflammation and mucus! And he's finding a combination of medications to help my husband's pain levels get under control. A small difference is already noticeable, after two days. We're also ALL switching ourselves over to a more plant based diet focused on real, unprocessed foods. Something that, as I mentioned above, has been seriously lacking from our house.
We've been eating the Standard American Diet and we're beginning to understand why there's such a health crisis in this country! My husband is likely doing a 5 day juice/raw veggie and fruit fast to jump start his health journey. I would LOVE to join him, but obviously won't be due to being pregnant. Instead I'll be just adding those things into my diet. And into the girls' diets. They even tried broccoli and rice this week; two things they swore up and down they hated! When the oldest asked me to make rice and beans again, I could have fainted!
In this entire process, though, we've made sure the kids know that we love them, that we aren't not doing things to punish them, etc. And we've tried to make special occasions out of things we CAN do. Family nights at home with movies and a special treat. More trips to the play areas at local malls. Lots of reading and cuddles. Making foods we don't normally make (homemade, from scratch pretzels earned this mama some serious cool points!). Helping in the kitchen. They are troopers, and have taken it in stride.
But the husband and I are saying no more. We've survived through the worst. But we don't want our family to survive, we want it to THRIVE. We're looking into joining a gym that has family programs. We can get much needed exercise (inside, away from the humidity for me!), and the kids can have classes to make friends and get energy out. I've found a tumbling class for them through the Y that they could take together, and progress together. It's way on the other side of town, but once a week we can make that drive. Most of the dance and gymnastic places I've called close to us are much more expensive, don't include gym membership for the husband and I, and have long waiting lists. We're starting back with at least once weekly zoo trips, and signing up for some of their upcoming homeschool series.
I'm excited to change the dynamic of our family. From being a group of people who all love each other and live together to being a tight knit family unit again. We've been there most of the 8 years we've been a family, we can get back there again.
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