32 Weeks, and birth place rambling.

32 Weeks and feeling good!

I'm in the middle of week 32 of this pregnancy. This week has been a turnaround week. A week ago, I was on day 2 of a 3 day period of being bed ridden from pain related to SPD. I went to the chiropractor on Tuesday, and again on Friday. I've had some pain off and on this week, but this weekend has been amazing. Even spending all day on my feet and running around I've been relatively pain free. As pain free as you can be when there is a uterus up to your ribs and little jabs to your muscles from inside your body. ;) I don't think 32 weeks has felt this comfortable since my first pregnancy. Considering that was 3 kids, 8 pregnancies, and 6 years ago, I'm happy!

My other 3 were born in the 36-38 weeks range. Which means nothing, as we all know. I could have a baby in 4 weeks or in 10 weeks. As someone obsessed with details and planning, the last couple of months of pregnancy are maddening as I constantly wonder when to expect baby to come. Especially since I tend to have weeks of prodromal labor.

This pregnancy has been the first one where birth place has been a real discussion. My first I was sure would be in the hospital. People went to OBs and had babies in hospitals. Homebirth was for the crazy hippies. I'm sorry if I sound like I'm mumbling, that's just my foot in my mouth. After a good natural hospital birth, I still knew there was a better way. Better than a first time mom being told after 9 hours of labor that she was failing to progress and being threatened with a cesarean section. Better than waiting over an hour for every single prenatal visit in a crowded waiting room only to be seen for five minutes. Better than an OB who dismissed my hyperemesis as me being a "princess" about normal morning sickness and told me not having an epidural would result in myself having a stroke from high blood pressure (due to a heart condition I'd long outgrown, and even suffering from low blood pressure the entire pregnancy!). Better than postpartum women treating me like I knew nothing because I was a young mother.

Two years later I found myself pregnant again. I knew I would have a homebirth. The question that pregnancy was whether or not I could find a midwife to attend. I was okay with an unassisted birth when a friend found a midwife for me through a message board. I met with her, and transferred from seeing a hospital based CNM to seeing a homebirth midwife. And still wound up with an unassisted birth thanks to a snowstorm, another birth, and being a fast laborer.

By the time I was pregnant with baby number three, there wasn't a question of where (home) or attendant (same homebirth midwife), but instead how we were going to replace the tub that came with the home we'd bought the year before with a new one deep enough to facilitate a waterbirth. That birth, another fast one (just a smidge over 2 hours), was easy. Smooth, quick labor that progressed with no issues and ended in a peaceful waterbirth with the midwife and my husband near the tub and my two older girls in the hallway laughing in delight over the birth of their sister.

This pregnancy, however, has been full of questions. We are seeing our family doctor for prenatal care, and have intended to birth at home unassisted from the beginning. This decision has been one I've considered and reconsidered. I admit the hospital has it's appeal. Not for the birth itself, though their tubs do look amazing. But for the 2 days post birth with no having to clean up, tend to older siblings, having food delivered to me with the push of a button, etc. It's a mini vacation for a tired mama with lots of little ones around! And with our doctor, I know all of my wishes would be respected during labor and birth. I wouldn't have to get an IV, I could eat and drink and move as I pleased, catch the baby myself, and anything else I could ask for. Sounds great, but with the fast labors, the whole being in a car sounds like torture. My contractions tend to come fast and strong. They are manageable when I can do whatever I need to to cope. But in a car they are unbearable (experienced during those weeks of prodromal labor).

For all three girls, the only options were hospital or home. Now, a new birth center is opening in the area. Right near the hospital, actually. A LOT of my friends are very excited about this option. As am I, because it means many local women who were not happy with the current options of unregulated homebirth midwives or the hospital have a new option. One that gives them great care and a non-hospital option that has the bonus of being covered by insurance; something that is usually impossible with homebirths here. I have many friends who are already excited about getting to have their next baby in the birth center. It opens later this month, and since my doctor is the physician who works with the CNM running the center, I can easily switch care to birth there if I chose to.

And I do see the appeal. A real bed rather than the incredibly uncomfortable hospital ones. Big tubs (I am a water birther, the bed is of no matter to me, but the tub? The tub is everything!), no hospital-y feel to the place. And you get to go home within a few hours, so you can settle into your own bed with baby that first night. And the scary "who cleans up the mess" question all of us homebirthers hear is answered. I am pretty sure you can also have family visit before you leave the center and then when you get home, you're home in peace and alone. That is probably an even bigger draw than the tub for me, as I'm a private person and rarely am comfortable inviting others into my home. Even friends and family.

But, where I am now, the birth center option is just not for me. It seems like it would be silly. We can have everything we want at the hospital. If this wasn't the case, a birth center would be a good option for us. The hospital seems kind of crazy as well. We wouldn't be going because we think it is the best or safest place for our birth, but rather to simply have the hotel-like amenities after the fact. I still feel the best place would be home for us. Sure, it means no 2 day vacation afterward. But as long as I do my meal prep and keep up with laundry before the birth, there won't be much to do after around the house anyway. Plus my husband will likely have a couple of days home to help out. Add in the fact that I don't tend to take a ton of rest time after a birth anyway (we were out to eat and shopping 12 hours after my last birth since our birth kit was missing a few items and we got hungry) and staying home just makes sense.

So for now, we say we're planning a homebirth. Come birthing day, we may decide the hospital sounds like the place for us. We have a doctor and doula who are fine supporting us wherever we decide to go. Or not go. So the following weeks will involve putting together our birth kit, preparing the house for a birth, and packing a bag in case we decide at the last minute to head to the hospital. I don't see that happening, but this pregnancy has been so all over the place that I do not make concrete plans anymore. All I know is that in the next 4-10 weeks we will be meeting our new baby. And no matter where or how they enter this world, it will be joyful and miraculous. Just like my other births, and any others that God plans for us.

October is here!

And with it, it brings a renewed sense of hope for the future. This is, by far, my favorite month. Even though it holds one of the greatest tragedies of my life; the loss of my Ga-Ga, my maternal grandmother. She was one of the most special people to me. More than grandmother, she was my friend. A source of constant support and understanding, even when I was the unconventional, independent, weird kid. She never expected or even wanted me to act normal and be like other kids. She LOVED that I marched to my own drummer, and a lot of who I am now is because of who she taught me to become. My love of southern cooking, hanging laundry, and listening to music while I do chores all come from her. My middle daughter was born in her home on her birthday, and oh how I wish Ga-Ga could meet her now! I like to believe that the sassy, funny, to the point attitude and the gleam in her eye come from her great-grandmother. That before Reese was in my womb, she was in heaven getting told "now, when your mama was little, she had the biggest attitude! So your job is to go down there and give her just as much joy and frustration as she gave me!" Ga-Ga used to say I was the best at getting out of trouble by making what I did wrong so funny or cute that she was too busy laughing to carry out any punishments. And oh is that my Reese to a tee! We often find ourselves walking away to chuckle before coming back to talk about why a certain action was maybe not the best one.

October this year is bringing a new job for my husband, a point in this pregnancy where I am not just feeling okay, but really feeling good and functioning again, and a new sense of relief and JOY. And a desire to draw closer to God as a family. Something we have been trying to do, but have slacked on. The big girls are having a long-awaited slumber party at my mom's this weekend, but next week we are going to start the look for a home church. We're likely going to try the church that the girls' dance teacher goes to. I went there as a teenager and really enjoyed it. My only issue with it as an adult is sometimes it seems a lot of political talk comes from the pulpit. And I really dislike that. But, if other things are in place, I can overlook it. Nowhere is perfect.

Today my husband and I celebrated our Eighth wedding anniversary. Technically it's not until October 9th, but we did our celebrating today. Next week we'll go to church and then eat and watch football with the kids. My kind of celebration! We have our first kid-free day/night in 18 months. And wow is it quiet without the girls here! We went shopping and had long conversations without a million questions. I forgot you could do that!

I'm excited for October. And not just because I'm secretly (well, not a secret anymore!) hoping for a Halloween baby. I'm excited to make the big girls' costumes, to go to the pumpkin patch, to get maternity photos done, to really start preparing to welcome the new baby. 2011 has been a year of great struggle and stress for our family. October has never been anything but good to me (for even in the loss of Ga-Ga, I was rejoicing that her years of pain from arthritis were gone and that she was back with my Pa, the son she lost so many years ago, and Jesus!), and I'm confident that this year's October will be no different!

Autumn is here!

And, besides the ringing in of our family's favorite season, we have much to celebrate! The husband got a job this week! It's in the field he wants to move into (and will be starting school for soon), and he will be home more during the kids' waking hours. It's a paycut, but we are fine with struggling for a little while in order to make things better in the long run. I've been encouraged to apply for a job as a breastfeeding peer counselor with our local WIC office and plan to turn in the application next week, so I may be bringing in a little something extra to help out as well. Either way, I'll likely look for part-time work after the baby is a couple of months old during hours when hubby is home with the kids. I like having a little bit of an outlet, but the hassle of childcare isn't one I like to deal with!

The big girls started dance last week (9/13 and 9/17, respectively). The six year old is doing a tap/ballet combo, and the three year old is doing "creative movement". Which is intro to tap and ballet and fun movement. They both love it! It's the first time either of them have taken a structured class for anything. After the new year we'll likely add swim lessons. I think 2 lessons each is about enough though!

Six year old ballerina and her three year old copycat. :)

Three year old Ballerina

As for me, I've begun seeing a different chiropractor for this pregnancy. Not because I didn't like my old chiropractor...in fact I really do like him! BUT, my insurance didn't cover him and I need to go more during pregnancy than I could swing without the help of insurance. Plus the new chiropractor specializes in pregnancy and has some different state of the art equipment, etc. I've noticed a HUGE difference. For one, she adjusts the pubis symphysis itself rather than just the illium and sacrum in hopes of stabilizing the entire pelvis. The adjustment hurts. The little hammer (I forget the actual name) thing is not a fun sensation. And I usually have to come home and rest after an adjustment. But it is helping!

And that state of the art equipment? It found some rotation and issues in my cervical vertebrae. This is significant because it is the vertebrae that are connected with the nerves causing my wrist/hand issues. Getting adjusted hasn't been a cure, but I am able to do more with less pain and numbness in my wrist and hand! I figure it may take a while before it can fix it completely; I've been living with this for almost five years, two weeks isn't going to fix it all. But it has given me hope that maybe I will be able to massage again one day.

This autumn is especially significant for us. This is the season in which we will be welcoming our newest family member. :) I love that I will be birthing during the season that brings me the most joy, inspiration, and closeness to God. Autumn has always been special, this will just make it a bit moreso. We are still undecided between home and hospital, but I am leaning towards staying home and going with the original plan of an unassisted birth. The thing that sounds best about a hospital birth is the two day vacation afterward. No house to clean, no worrying about cooking for anybody, cable TV and room service! And really, with a little prep work we can have the meals and such all ready to go here. Microwaving isn't hard. And I would likely go nuts spending time away from the kids like that. Plus there's that whole leaving the house in labor and fear of precipitous birthing in the van on the way there. I don't even like going anywhere without my husband after 36 weeks for fear of going into labor when out and about!

31 Week belly. Ignore bad lighting and hanging converter box wire- we have to do that to watch Fox, lol!

Though we go into each pregnancy planning on it lasting up to 42 weeks, we could realistically have as little as 5 weeks and as many as 11 based on 'normal' pregnancies and the lengths of my others. Seeing as this is baby #4, we really don't have a ton of preparations. Washing clothes and putting them away. I'm turning my closet into a nursery nook. We co-sleep, but we'll put our mini pack and play in there (with the doors removed, of course!), the clothes in baskets on the upper shelf, and add a mobile and paint it a little different than the rest of the room. Just to have a nice baby "area". We've never done that with the other kids. Just planned for co-sleeping and that was that. We have a new carseat, we have cloth diaper covers and plenty of prefolds and flats, though we will probably pick up some preemie prefolds for the first few days. I need to go get my Ergo from a friend, but I have my ring sling and wrap ready to go. I want to finish the house. Some painting and decorating. And I want to get all of us into a good routine and get a household schedule worked out. Which will happen naturally as the husband settles into his new job. Then the fall activities. Apple orchard. Pumpkin patch. Maternity pictures.

As the leaves change and fall, the air turns crisp, and we are settling into life. I don't know how to explain the change from the summer. But there is a change. Things feel right again.

You keep moving on...

Wednesday began like any other day. My husband had unexpectedly had Monday and Tuesday off of work, so he was going back after a long weekend. It was a bad day, as far as my pain levels were concerned. I took the two little girls to their dentist appointments, and came home to let Lucy nap before my chiropractor appointment. In there the husband left for work and when we got home before supper it was movie and rest time, as mama needs a LOT of rest after the chiropractor these days. Those SPD and fractured tailbone adjustments are no joke and take a lot out of an already tired body!

Around bedtime, my husband walked in the door. He's not usually home on Wednesdays until 1am or so, and I was pretty sure bedtime hadn't taken that long! (It hadn't. It was 9pm.) He was upset and told me he had lost his job. Talk about unexpected! After the initial shock wore off, though, we began to plan.

He found a job to apply to the next day, and we have a couple more he'll apply for this upcoming week. The job he applied for Thursday told him they'll be calling interviewees back on Monday and Tuesday, and he saw the words "Looks good for an interview" written on his application. This job has less and better hours, benefits, the same pay, and due to the type of work, it would come with a much higher level of job satisfaction. We're praying and hoping that this is the direction God is leading him to, but know that in today's world getting a job so quickly and it being the first job you apply for is not very common and are realistic that this may not be it.

We both believe that life is what you make it. That attitude can make a situation bearable or miserable. And we have faith that God won't give us more than we can handle. So why choose to feel miserable about it? He'd been unhappy in his job for a while now. And it began to affect things at home. He was bringing that unhappiness home with him unintentionally, taking longer to unwind and decompress from work, etc. We knew that it was time for a change, but neither of us wanted to think about making yet another change with a baby on the way and all the other things our family has gone through in 2011. We think maybe this is God's way of pushing us to make that change, and have faith that only good will come from this challenge.

I Love Lucy

Drinking lemonade at lunch with Mama and Daddy.

Our oldest girls spent the weekend with their grandmas so this mama could rest up and recover from her fall and potentially catch up on laundry. Good progress was made in both, but neither 100% completed. Sunday, we took advantage of finding ourselves with just one child and took Lucy out for an afternoon. It is so much fun to get those rare one-on-one moments with each kid.

We started the afternoon at a local burger place I was craving. Then a trip to the pet store where she got to walk rather than ride in a cart or sling. She was fascinated by all the doggies, running from us shouting "LOOK!" The kitten that looked like our cat in a cage held her attention, too. I think she just wanted to know why we hadn't thought of a cage for our cat. I wondered that, too. ;)

After that we headed to Babies R Us to look at strollers. I doubt we'll need a double stroller. She's walking more, and if we're all out together, we'll likely not even use a single since Kelton and I both love to babywear. But our full size stroller is a bit much for quick trips, especially since it's a more complicated fold involving removing a seat. I wanted to check our options for something lightweight, easy to push (a hard task when Kelton and I are 11" apart in height and he has long legs and I have short ones!), and that will take up less room in the cargo area of our van. We found one clearanced out for $80, and their trade-in event will get us an additional 25% off of that! They're holding it until Wednesday when I can get back out there with the carseat we have in the garage that expired 4 years ago to trade in. Lucy loved riding in it, which is great since she's only used a stroller maybe 5-10 times in her life and has generally hated it. In fact she got mad when we took her out of it!

It's easy with the whirlwind of life occurring around us to remember to slow down and savor each of the girls. Lucy is growing from a baby to a toddler, seemingly overnight. She's finally, at 17 months, fitting into 12 month clothes comfortably. The 3T tunic tops Reese is starting to outgrow make perfect dresses for her. She's still tiny, but getting bigger (she's like her mama, I was always the smallest in my class!).

Her vocabulary is booming. And her understanding even moreso. She fully understand commands like "take this to daddy" or "put that in the bookcase". She can name the animals by name (Guster= Guhduh, Strider= Ida, and Zeke= Eek or Ki-ee for kitty). She can point to her belly, and will "boop" your nose (poke it saying boop and laughing). She will also point out her booty, lol. If she's wet, she will bring us a prefold and lay down for a change. She says "what", "why", "yeah", "hi", and "look". She also says Anna-Lee (Ammm-Eeeee). She finally lets me read to her without throwing a fit two pages into a book, and has started bringing books to us to read to her. She shows a preference in what clothes she wears, and she is becoming a fan of shoes.

Back to human!

This past week has been a blur. Friday night, the middle girl suddenly spiked a fever and was really lethargic. I was fine letting her rest until she also began saying her neck and head hurt. Meningitis is nothing to laugh at, so we took her in to be checked out. Turns out she had a simple viral throat infection. Let it run it's course, give her hot or cold foods to comfort her throat as needed, and give her plenty of chance to rest. Of course she woke up the next morning fine and acting like nothing had ever happened.

Later that same day, the toddler came down with same symptoms. At least we knew what was happening this time, so we focused on making her comfy and getting some snuggles where we could. We went to bed fully expecting our oldest to wind up sick by Sunday afternoon. When Sunday passed with no symptoms we counted our blessings and pat ourselves on the back for our good luck!

Enter Monday morning. Yep, the oldest had a fever. It seemed to break just a few hours later. No surprise, as she's probably got the strongest immune system of us all. We went to my chiropractor appointment and then planned to head straight home. That's when she got sick. In the hallway at the chiropractor. Thankfully he's a father himself, so it was taken in stride. We got her straight home and in bed. And cancelled her dental procedure for the next morning.

Turns out, she was fine by when her appointment would have started. But it was still a good thing we cancelled, because it was this Mama's turn! I spent Tuesday in bed unable to even lift my head off the pillow when I wanted to. No wonder I was getting so many snuggles! It was out of necessity! Wednesday I was still on the mend; not sick, but recovering and resting.

Thursday things were back to normal. A friend came over and tomatoes were boiled, peeled, chopped, mixed, and canned into 8 glorious pints of homemade salsa. Some neglected cleaning was done, real food was made for supper, story time before bed was resumed.

Friday morning I slipped in the bathroom and hurt my tailbone. It's likely a small fracture, but the more painful part was the inflammation to the soft tissues in my lower back, left hip/bottom, and my left shoulderblade area. I spent the day resting with an ice pack and taking the medicine my doctor recommended. I still wound up calling my husband home from work to take care of me, take the big girls to his mom, and help me with errands. My hero, that man. He not only did all of that, but he also took me out to eat at the place we met working almost exactly 11 years ago, AND stayed up late painting our big girls' bedroom and prepping to put down new flooring in there.

Thankfully this morning I'm still sore (especially the bone itself!) but with icy hot, ice, and just moving carefully, I'm okay. High pain tolerances are a good thing! I was so happy to be able to get laundry put away, make chili for supper, and just feel like a functioning person!

After such a week though, I am cautious to go into a new week without goals in place. This past week required lots of downtime, which can quickly become a habit, even when it isn't needed.

So, I'll post them here, as a way to make me feel a bit more accountable. My goals for the upcoming week:

-Can more produce, based on what's on sale and what we find at Farmer's Market on Thursday

-Get a homeschool schedule made, and turn in our late paperwork to the state (I was supposed to turn it in yesterday and was laid up too late to do so from falling- oops!).

-Organize the girls' room with the new flooring in.

-Buy paint for mine and the husband's bedroom.

-Take more pictures!

-Crochet. Diaper covers, camera strap cover, or handle covers for our cast iron. I don't care what; just something!

-Work with the girls on the mobile they're making for the baby.

-Keep up with daily tidying, laundry, and deep cleaning chores. This is always so much easier said than done!

-Reschedule the dental procedure for our oldest.

Summer is slowly ending...

Late summer family reunion at the lake. Bonus 25 week belly picture!

which means the best time of the year is just around the corner! I've mentioned that summer is not our favorite time of the year here in our home. No, we are definitely autumn kind of people! Bring on falling leaves, pumpkins, apples, crisp air, earlier nights and later mornings. A dear friend and I have a description for our favorite kind of weather: hoodie and flip flop weather. When you can comfortably wear both, it's the time of year to be outside enjoying all nature has to offer! Of course, this friend and I have both been known to extend our hoodie and flip flop uniforms into late winter when the ground is heavy with snow, so use your own discretion with this. ;)

Late summer and the approach of autumn also mean it is back to school time! This has different meanings for us this year. We've considered ourselves homeschoolers for the past year or two, but have fallen more in the unschooling camp. We have focused on playing, reading to our girls, and encouraging our now six year old's natural interests. This year, however, she is of compulsory attendance age. So we have paperwork to file with our state. This includes a vaccine exemption form, and a form laying out our curriculum choices. We bought a first grade curriculum, and as all our paperwork needs to be filed by the 26th, I'm spending this weekend setting out lesson plans, and getting everything ready to submit. Organizing a school shelf in the bookcase, making a daily schedule for the girls and I so we know what to expect when, and making a meal plan so I'm not going crazy while adjusting to "doing school".

We still are focusing on making learning fun. Lately, there's been a huge interest in learning about history. Which her definition of history is "old things, like Elvis." Well, sort of, sweetie! We're reading through the Little House series with her sisters. Last week we read chapter one of Little House in the Big Woods and she painted pictures of the corn husk dolls we're going to make as soon as we dry the husks from our corn we're getting at Farmer's Market on Thursday. A couple hours east there is a living history farm that we plan to visit. I'd like to wait until it is not only cooler, but closer to Thanksgiving time, since there is an Ioway Indian village site, and I'd like to incorporate that into our learning about Native Americans.

She's been scared of storms this summer. So when our zoo (whose membership includes free IMAX movies) began showing the IMAX screening of Tornado Alley, we took her so she could learn about the storms. Now, instead of the girls being scared of storms, they tend to just ask about how bad they'll be getting, and are secure in their knowing that a storm turning into a tornado is unlikely. That's not saying they never get scared. The storm that had 70mph winds and knocked power out for 13 hours was scary to them because the lights were out at night. But they knew if it were to develop into a tornado they could simply go to the hall closet and how to stay safe.

Learning fun w/Clifford and Iowa Public TV at the Iowa State Fair!

The end of summer is also bringing an end to our first gardening efforts. They, unfortunately, haven't been very fruitful. I blame this mostly on my asthma keeping me indoors and not tending to the plants as much as I should have, as well as on our alternately too dry and too wet conditions. That's okay. This was a year to learn, not to produce. I did learn that next year we'll do raised beds, as I wasn't a fan of containers. Once our tomato plants are all done with for the season, the girls are going to paint the buckets in autumnal colors and designs, and we'll put some autumn flowers (mums I believe? I'm not a flower person!) in them to decorate the front of the house. The herbs that survived the heat (sage and rosemary) will be brought indoors, and we'll probably add some others to grow inside over the winter.

This week we will begin canning. Whatever we get from farmers market, from our little tomato plants, and produce sales will be preserved to use in winter months. Next month we'll be canning lots of apples. Apple butter, apple jelly, pie fillings, etc. We're kind of nuts about apples. We'll be experimenting with using the shed to store squashes and such over the winter, too.

Even more exciting than planning school schedules, field trips, apple orchards, pumpkin patches, and Halloween is that the coming autumn brings the arrival of our new baby! Being the one giving up precious organ room and pelvic girdle comfort to house the baby's current uterine digs, I like to think this excites me the most. ;) This pregnancy has been simultaneously easy and incredibly difficult. When it's easy, it's very easy. But when the hyperemesis or symphysis pubis dysfunction decide to make it hard, it can be extremely hard! I am looking forward to labor, birthing, and mostly to having a new baby to snuggle and love on. Walking without waddling doesn't sound all that bad, either!

Yes, these "lazy hazy" days of summer are slowly dragging to an end. For many they passed by far too quickly. For us, they took their sweet time and are welcome to make an early exit! We are eagerly awaiting the hustle and bustle that autumn brings to our home. And to adding hoodies to our flip flop wardrobes!