A completely health/wellness focused post...

I got Carmen Electra's Aerobic Striptease workout DVD from NetFlix and finally started to use it. OMG is it hard to do!!! I got through the warm-up (intro warm-up, and the warm-up routine without instruction) and ALMOST through the entire first routine. And I am breathless. I suck at most of the moves, but I'm working on it. Most of the moves were things we did in the African tribal dancing thing at the success strategies seminar at school. It's a lot less embarrassing when you're not surrounded by 30 strangers. And, no, this doesn't mean I'm going to reconsider careers and become a stripper! I just needed a fun dance video to keep me motivated, and one that uses lots of stretching and hip movements is actually good for keeping my legs and core strong for massage.

I don't have a goal weight in mind. At all. I'd love to fit into my size 4 Old Navy jeans again (where I was at when I got pregnant with Reese), and be more toned overall. Mainly because I'm running out of jeans that fit that aren't getting holes in them! LOL But, honestly, I don't care if my weight/clothing size ever moves as long as I am healthier. I'm working on eating healthier, choosing lean proteins (must remember that Bakers sells buffalo meat!), and eating more veggies. I bought a TON of produce last night. Lots of grapes and strawberries, and oranges, and apples. Of course the girls have pretty much plowed through all but two of a 3lb $4 bag of organic apples in less than 24 hours (that's another story). And my cheese habit is coming to an end.

Since I stopped eating so much cheese (I have it on the occasional pizza or burritos, but try to limit it), and began cooking less and less with cow's milk, I feel so much better! I'm not as congested (big bonus when healing a nose ring, btw), and I feel like I'm slowly coming out of my "fog". I'm trying to learn about alternative milks. Goat's milk seems like a good alternative for the girls...but I can't bring myself to try it. I've used Rice milk in cooking and liked the results. I'm also VERY SLOWLY switching my Dr. Pepper for Diet Cherry 7-Up. Which still has red #40 and aspartame, which is horrible. But its a baby step (no caffeine, HFCS, or mondo-calories). After I am used to that I can switch to a sparkling juice, and then to just water. I drink mostly water anyway, this is just a treat.

So yeah. I'm not counting calories, I'm not obessing over anything. I'm a pretty uptight person, but my weight/body is one area where I just really don't stress. It seems so...pointless. I have bad days where I notice dimples on my thighs, or the extra pudge on my belly and it brings me down. But over all, I'm appreciative of my body. Too much so to belittle it. It's carried, birthed, and nourished the two loves of my life. It's put up with my crap all these years (senior year dinners consisted of pan-fried steak and 3-6 smirnoffs...every single night), and it still takes care of me. I can't complain. Any problems I have with it are my own. And getting mad or upset or defeated about the situation won't help a bit. In fact, they're discouraging and they'll only make it worse.

So I'll eat right (for the most part, of course). I'll exercise. And if I look the way I want to, great! If I stay looking this way, that's fine, too. Because at least I'm making myself healthier. And the goal is, and always should be, feeling and being healthier. Health isn't a number on a scale, or a clothing size. It's feeling better, having a stronger muscular and skeletal system, a stronger immune system, and stronger mental well being. It's being aligned, physically and spiritually. And that; that is what I strive for.

Sleep is a big part of this. And sleeping. Wonderful, amazing sleeping! I took three of the Ambien they gave me. That's all. And then I started sleeping longer stretches on my own. Still not going to bed until way too late. And that still happens sometimes. It's 2:30 right now and I am tired. As soon as I'm done writing I'm throwing diapers in the dryer and heading to bed. I'm getting tired on my own. If my body needs to sleep, it's giving me signals that it needs to sleep. That didn't happen before. I'm still working on getting in bed earlier, and getting up earlier. Especially since starting on the 6th, school begins for me each day at 9. (Of course I get home just in time for naptime, too!) So I may take some more Ambien over the next couple of weeks to get myself going to bed earlier.

But, I'm incredibly satisfied now with the sleep I'm getting. I didn't realize just what a difference it would make. I honestly feel like I'm leading a completely different life than I did a month to six weeks ago. Night and day. Life is just easier. I'm even contemplating taking on things like leading a local Friends of Iowa Midwives chapter- something I would LOVE to do, but could have never even thought of before!

The sick house...

that's where it feels like I'm living. We've all got various coughs, colds, sniffles, etc. And the baby has a raging, open, blister-y diaper rash from the combo of teething (bottom molars) and being sick. I'm trying to get as much garlic and vitamin C into all of us, and unfortunately the baby will be going into disposable diapers for a spell to allow us to use some stronger rash creams. Our dryer is broken right now anyway, it's too cold to hang things outside, and we can't keep up with her if we try to let things hang dry inside.

My husband acts worse than the kids when he is sick and is the one least likely to take a proactive step to get better. It's frustrating.

I caved in this week and went to see a doctor. It's been well over six months, probably closer to a year or so since I've slept longer than 3 hours at a time. I've been mentally and physically rundown so long that I don't remember what it feels like to be rested. The doctor gave me some AmbienCR to help get myself back on a better schedule. Three days later and I feel like a different person. Well, I would if I weren't sick, that is! I'm remembering things I was supposed to do long ago and never did. I feel horrible about some of them, too, and am spending this week righting those wrongs. Its like I'm coming out of a huge fog. And thankfully I am getting tired on my own now, so I am going to start weaning off of the Ambien. I'm hoping this allows me to be the woman I've been trying (and failing) to be.

In an effort to cut out as much refined sugar as possible, I picked up some Agave nectar from a local grocery store. I've never used it, but hoping it tastes good. I'm also trying Rice Milk for the first time in my effort to cut out dairy (but cheese is so good!!!! It's my one downfall in the dairy section) and soy.